April 24, 2020

Today was the first real day of Ramadan. My schedule has been as follows:

4:01 a.m. — Arise, and eat a breakfast of two eggs, onions, a cup of tea, half of a mandarin

4:30 a.m. — Fast begins

4:53 a.m. — Back to bed to brew diarrhea (foreshadowing!)

11:56 a.m. — Arise again, this time to a vague feeling of disappointment

1:00 p.m. — Begin Special K’s language class on Amharic

1:07 p.m. — The disappointment was diarrhea(!)

2:00 – 5:02 p.m. — Watch Zilch play Red Dead Redemption

5:10 p.m. — Begin delivering for Caviar

6:12 p.m. — Sniffed but did not eat bacon Alfredo pizza

6:13 p.m. – 7:09 p.m. — Unsuccessfully scheme ways to get free pizzas and no one loses

7:11 p.m. — Return home

7:12 – 8:09 p.m. — Watch Zilch play Red Dead Redemption

8:10 p.m. — Break fast and feast on pasta carbonara

The rest of the day leads to now, where I am very tired and fully expecting a holy month filled with intermittent bouts of diarrhea, ogling stranger’s steaming comfort foods, and backseat driving my roommate’s virtual cowboy’s virtual horse.

“Give him some beans,” I told Zilch. “He’s probably hungry.”